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Blog Tour: How She Died, How I Lived by Mary Crockett

  Rockstar Book Tours
Hi guys, and welcome to our tour stop for How She Died, How I Lived by Mary Crockett. I am super excited to be on the blog tour for this book. Sit back, read my review and don't forget to add this book to your Goodreads shelves. Oh, and don't forget to enter the giveaway below!

Book Details
Author: Mary Crockett
Pub. Date: November 13, 2018
Publisher: Little, Brown Books for Young Readers 
Formats: Hardcover, Paperback, eBook, audiobook
Pages: 416

Find it: GoodreadsAmazonAudibleB&NiBooksTBD

Synopsis: I was one of five. The five girls Kyle texted that day. The girls it could have been. Only Jamie--beautiful, saintly Jamie--was kind enough to respond. And it got her killed.

On the eve of Kyle's sentencing a year after Jamie's death, all the other "chosen ones" are coping in various ways. But our tenacious narrator is full of anger, stuck somewhere between the horrifying past and the unknown future as she tries to piece together why she gets to live, while Jamie is dead.

Now she finds herself drawn to Charlie, Jamie's boyfriend--knowing all the while that their relationship will always be haunted by what-ifs and why-nots. Is hope possible in the face of such violence? Is forgiveness? How do you go on living when you know it could have been you instead?

Book Review
I wasn't sure what to expect with this book. It looked interesting and like one I would enjoy, but I wasn't sold on it immediately. My reading has been non-existent this month, so I was worried that the first book I read this month would be a disappointment. I wasn't expecting a book like this. Sure parts of it were dark and sad, but it was also full of forgiveness and realizing that it was okay to live life like normal and be happy that you were still alive.

I've dealt with what is called "survivor's guilt" myself, so I understood our main character and her struggle with it. She was one of a handful of girls the homicidal maniac texted on the day he eventually killed Jamie. How could she not feel so much guilt for still being alive when sweet Jamie was dead? I could not even imagine what she went through, knowing that if she had just met up with Kyle Paxton when he asked, she would be the dead one. Not Jamie.

Our main character goes through a lot of conflicting emotions in this book and Crockett does an awesome job at showing us, rather than telling us. As the reader, I could see our main character going through so much, along with the other girls. The only other one that we get to know really well is Lindsay, and I really liked her. Her home life & parental involvement was a sharp contrast to our main character. Lindsay's mother was barely around and I couldn't imagine going through all of this and not having the parental support. At least our main character had support from her parents.

I was not sure how I'd feel about our main character's romance with Jamie's boyfriend. I was worried our main character was going to be hurt by him. I was also worried that it would be toxic & troubling because both Charlie and our main character had been through so much since that fateful day. I actually really liked them together. Sure, Charlie pulled disappearing acts sometimes, but he always came back.

The only thing I would say this book needed was a bit more character development for the secondary characters. Our main character, Charlie and Lindsay were all developed well, but the rest of them could definitely have had more development. Overall, this book was really good, definitely a "quiet YA" that YA contemporary lovers need to read.

About the Author
A native of the Shenandoah Valley of Virginia, Mary grew up as the youngest of six children in a family of misfits. She has worked as everything from a history museum director to a toilet seat hand model.

In her other life, she's an award-winning poet and teaches creative writing at Roanoke College in Virginia.

If you tweet at her, chances are she will tweet back.


Tour Schedule
Week One:
11/12/2018- Here's to Happy EndingsReview
11/13/2018- A Dream Within A DreamReview
11/14/2018- Novel NoviceExcerpt
11/15/2018- Bri's Book NookReview
11/16/2018- Pretty Deadly ReviewsReview

Week Two:
11/19/2018- The Desert BibliophileReview
11/20/2018- Lifestyle of MeReview
11/21/2018- Moonlight RendezvousReview
11/22/2018- Savings in SecondsReview
11/23/2018- Cindy's Love of BooksReview

Top Ten Tuesday: Bookish Merch

Top Ten Tuesday is hosted by That Artsy Reader Girl
This week we're talking about bookish merch on our wish lists!

Bekka's Picks
1. A Marauders Map book sleeve

I've wanted one of these since book sleeves started becoming a thing. I don't really know why I haven't gotten one except that I really can't bring myself to buy a book sleeve. I've gotten a few from subscription boxes and I haven't ever used them, so I think it'd be a waste of money. But I wants it.
2. Marauders Map blanket

Basically, give me all the Marauders Map things. This one I will probably get myself this year around Christmas if I get an Amazon gift card. I've been eyeing it for ages now and it's time to treat myself.

3. These Six of Crows candles
It's a pipe dream, it'll never happen, but I'd pay BIG bucks for them if Macmillan ever decided to sell these. I really have to wonder why publishers don't get in on the merchandise game a bit better. Officially licensed Six of Crows swag is all I need in my life.
4. This pin set
I don't even super ship Ron and Hermione but I am obsessed with this set. This shop has a bunch of other OTP level couples in this style and I want so many of them. They have a Leia and Han set that I absolutely need as well.
5. This art print
I am obsessed. I've been obsessing over this for months. Look how stunningly beautiful it is. I would absolutely buy a full tarot deck by this artist. This is another one I will probably bite the bullet on very soon because I can't stop staring at it. 


Plan With Me Book Tag

The Plan With Me Book Tag was created by What's My Page Again on YouTube

1. Pay Day - a book you would buy right now, cost doesn't matter!

I haven't even read this yet but I am still so salty that I'll forever have to live without the UK hardcover of Uprooted. If I had the means, I'd buy a copy right now, but people are NUTS if they think I'm paying those outrageous prices for a used copy.

 2. Pay a Bill - a book you'd get rid of right now

I have an ongoing stack of books to unhaul at basically all times. Right now, that stack consists of the Throne of Glass series.

3. Dr Appointment - a book that makes you feel better when you're down

So this is not the most lighthearted book in the world, but it's just so good. And sometimes it feel so, so good to read a well-written, well-crafted book. Especially during a rough week like this one, it's great to read something written so well that you just ease into it. So that's what I'm doing. Rereading for like the fifth time.

4. Meeting - a book you felt obligating to read because of the hype

  By hype I mostly mean "my friends screaming at me inceassantly" but that counts, right? I knew I couldn't put it off much longer so I read it earlier this year and it was amazing. I'm really glad I finally got to it and that it lived up to all the hype built up around it.

5. Lunch Date - a book or series you fell in love with after a friend recommended it to you

Well I guess I could just say Code Name Verity again, but I won't. How about The Prince and the Dressmaker by Jen Wang? This is honestly probably my favorite graphic novel of all time and I wouldn't have read it without Gaby and Gillian screaming at me about it.

6. Work Week - a book that was hard to get through

This was so astoundingly bad it's actually hard to believe. I thought it would be bad, but it was a thousand times worse than I ever imagined. It was painful to read, all the way from the writing to the world-building. 0/10 do not recommend.
7. Gym Day - a book that got your heart pumping because it was such an exciting page-turner
So I didn't LOVE this or anything but I could not put it down. I remember thinking about it even when I wasn't reading. There are a ton of heart-pumping and heart-stopping scenes in here too. Also, we need more YA horror and this is great for scares. 
8. Date Night - a book with your favorite romantic couple
I'm just going to make a really quick list. I can't just pick one.

Cruel Beauty - Nyx and Ignifex
Dark Triumph - Sybella and Beast
Legendary - Tella and Jacks
The Demon King - Raisa and Han
Gemina - Hanna and Nik

9. Vacation - a series you'd want to binge if you had all the time in the world

A Song of Ice and Fire for sure. I've had A Game of Thrones on my TBR multiple times but I just never get to it purely because of its size. There's nothing really stopping me from setting aside the time to just do it, but there's a mental block there for some reason that I am just unable to get over right now.

10. To Do List - a book you've been meaning to get to

This was one of my most-anticipated of the year. I mean, it's the finale. And I just haven't made myself sit down and read it. I am honestly terrified of what's going to happen in here and I know I need to just buckle down and do it. I will. Soon. I swear.