Book Review: Our Year of Maybe by Rachel Lynn Solomon

Book Title & Author: Our Year of Maybe by Rachel Lynn Solomon
Published by: Simon Pulse on January 15th, 2019
Genre: Contemporary
Pages: 384
Format: eARC
Source: Publisher
Goodreads
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Synopsis: 
From the author of You’ll Miss Me When I’m Gone comes a stunning contemporary novel that examines the complicated aftermath of a kidney transplant between best friends.

Aspiring choreographer Sophie Orenstein would do anything for Peter Rosenthal-Porter, who’s been on the kidney transplant list as long as she’s known him. Peter, a gifted pianist, is everything to Sophie: best friend, musical collaborator, secret crush. When she learns she’s a match, donating a kidney is an easy, obvious choice. She can’t help wondering if after the transplant, he’ll love her back the way she’s always wanted.

But Peter’s life post-transplant isn’t what either of them expected. Though he once had feelings for Sophie too, he’s now drawn to Chase, the guitarist in a band that happens to be looking for a keyboardist. And while neglected parts of Sophie’s world are calling to her—dance opportunities, new friends, a sister and niece she barely knows—she longs for a now-distant Peter more than ever, growing increasingly bitter he doesn’t seem to feel the same connection.

Peter fears he’ll forever be indebted to her. Sophie isn’t sure who she is without him. Then one blurry, heartbreaking night twists their relationship into something neither of them recognizes, leading them to question their past, their future, and whether their friendship is even worth fighting for.

Review:
I was really nervous about this book because my feelings about Solomon's debut were so conflicting, but I always give authors a second or even third chance and in this case, I am really glad I did. I still had some conflicted feelings about this book, but overall, I enjoyed this more than I enjoyed the author's debut and that to me, says that the author has grown as a writer since her first book came out.

I was fully expecting to relate more to Peter. We both have chronic illnesses (though his is his kidneys and mine is my heart) and he's bisexual. Wait, before I continue on, I want to massively praise Solomon for making Peter bisexual. There aren't enough bisexual boys in books and I really hope that changes. Well, I want more bisexual characters period, but definitely more bisexual boys please. I also liked that Peter was Jewish. I've actually looked into converting to Judaism in the past 6 months or so, so I was really excited to see how Peter dealt with it.

Sophie is also Jewish, but she's more into the Jewish religion than Peter's family is. Sophie's the reason I had such complicated feelings about this book. Being willing to donate an organ is a big freaking thing and I don't want to discount that at all because her willingness to do that was totally awesome. But I had a nagging feeling that the only reason she was doing this was so Peter would magically fall in love with her and all her pining away for him would not be in vain. 

I had a strong suspicion that what Sophie desperately wanted was not going to happen. Especially once Peter met Chase. I think I might be in love with Peter and Chase as a couple. Their first kiss was probably my favorite first kiss this year. It was perfection and I could not stop smiling. These two are definitely on my shortlist for favorite literary couple of the year.

Sophie's attitude towards Peter's new life was really bothersome to me. I understood that she felt left out of stuff, but Peter had finally gotten a kidney and his life didn't have to be so sedentary anymore. Sophie should have been thrilled about that, but instead she pouts and whines about how Peter never has time for her anymore and that his new friends are more important than she is. Really, she should have taken the opportunity to develop new friends, new routines and new activities, and to some extent she does, but never without wondering where Peter is and why he is doing whatever he's doing.

I wish I could remember who called their relationship codependent, because it was and I had been trying to put my finger on the correct word for the majority of the book. Sophie and Peter's friendship was very codependent and after he got his transplant, Peter seemed a lot more willing to break free of it than Sophie was.

I wish we had seen more of Sophie's sister, Tabby because in a lot of ways, Tabby was a lot more grown up, responsible & mature than her older sister Sophie was. Granted that probably had to do with getting pregnant at fifteen. Tabby's situation, while not uncommon, seemed a little too idyllic, and not representative of a lot of families. She was very lucky to have the support of her family, her baby's father and his family.

Final thoughts: This book packed a lot into it, but it was done really well and I look forward to seeing what Solomon writes next.

Book Review: The Dark Beneath the Ice by Amelinda Berube

Book Title & Author: The Dark Beneath the Ice by Amelinda Berube
Published by: Sourcebooks Fire on August 7th, 2018
Genre: Horror, Paranormal
Pages: 320
Format: eARC
Source: Publisher
Goodreads
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Synopsis: Something is wrong with Marianne. 

It's not just that her parents have split up, or that life hasn't been the same since she quit dancing. Or even that her mother has checked herself into the hospital. 
She's losing time. Doing things she would never do. And objects around her seem to break whenever she comes close. 
Something is after her. But a first attempt at an exorcism calls down the full force of the thing's rage. It demands Marianne give back what she stole. And Marianne must uncover the truth that lies beneath it all before the nightmare can take what it think it's owed, leaving Marianne trapped in the darkness of the other side.

Review:
I had been looking for a really good horror book lately, so I was excited to pick this one up. It looked really good and I couldn't help but be excited just based off the cover alone. The cover pulls you right in and that's what first excited me about this book.

So I dove into the book with excitement and high expectations. Maybe I shouldn't have had such high expectations because while it was an okay book, it was nothing like I was hoping it would be. The writing was actually my favorite part because it was so atmospheric and creepy. It actually reminded me of Nova Ren Suma's writing. I don't think I've ever read another book where the writing was like Suma's.

I did like that Marianne had an aunt that was so present in her life. We don't get to see extended family much in YA, so I feel like whenever we do, I have to at least make a mention of it. Marianne's Aunt Jen was a good surprise and I actually liked how she interacted with Marianne and how she interacted with her troubled sister.

I couldn't stand Marianne's father. In fact, I felt like he was a selfish man who ran when things got hard. And by things, I mean his wife's mental health. He called his wife's "episodes" Hurricane Laura. I mean, how much more unsupportive could he be? When he called Marianne's mom "Hurricane Laura" I almost always wanted to slap him. I know it's not easy to live with someone who has mental health issues, but he married her for better or worse and when things got "worse" he ran like a bat out of hell. Ugh, I cannot STAND that.

My heart broke for Marianne's mother. I couldn't imagine being so afraid of hurting people I loved. I couldn't imagine what was going on in her head. I couldn't imagine hoe scared she must have been when certain things started happening and she thought she was the cause of them. And to have her husband just walk out on her like that. Just because she was struggling with her mental health.

What I wasn't expecting was Marianne's romance subplot, but oh my god, I think I loved it more than I expected to. It was grin-worthy. I don't think I've ever used that phrase before, certainly not in a review, but I loved this romance. It brought some peace to the insanity that was Marianne's life.

I ended up being really disappointed by the horror/paranormal aspects of this book. I cannot believe I have to say this, but I was expecting something much scarier as the book continued on, and in fact, it got less scary and more confusing as the book went on.

Final thoughts: This book disappointed me in the paranormal/horror aspects, but for people who scare easily, this is a decent book to dip your toe in if you want to try horror. 

Book Review: And She Was by Jessica Verdi

Book Title & Author: And She Was by Jessica Verdi
Published by: Scholastic on March 27th, 2018
Genre: Contemporary
Pages: 361
Format: eARC
Source: Publisher
Goodreads
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Synopsis: Dara’s lived a sheltered life with her single mom, Mellie. Now, at eighteen, she’s dreaming of more. When Dara digs up her never-before-seen birth certificate, her world implodes. Why are two strangers listed as her parents? 

Dara confronts her mother, and is stunned by what she learns: Mellie is transgender. The unfamiliar name listed under “father”? That’s Mellie. She transitioned when Dara was a baby, shortly after Dara’s birth mother died.

But Dara still has more questions than answers. Reeling, she sets off on a road trip with her best guy friend, Sam. She's determined to find the extended family she’s never met. What she discovers—and what her mother reveals, piece by piece over emails—will challenge and change Dara more than she can imagine. 

From rising star Jessica Verdi, this is a gorgeous, timely, and essential novel about the importance of being our true selves.

Review:
I just love Jessica Verdi's books. I've been a fan of hers since I started blogging and have read the last 3 of her books, including this one, in ARC form. She just has this ability to write diverse stories with diverse settings & interesting characters and this book was no different.

June was the perfect month to read this book because of course it's Pride Month. I was excited to dive into this book and really see what happened with Mellie & her eventual transition and what happened with Dara's biological mother. I wanted to see how Dara found out and how she would react to the news.

Dara frustrated me a lot of the time. She took it so personally that Mellie never told her about her past. She was so angry with her mother and that really bothered me. I know Dara was only eighteen, but compassion and empathy go a long way. Dara frequently stated that her mother was selfish for never disclosing this earth-shattering secret, but Dara herself was being selfish with her insistence that her mother lied to her about her whole life, never even thinking about what the past eighteen plus years had been like for Mellie. She was just so angry with Mellie for "lying" to her, but like Mellie told her, it's not a crime to not come out as trans. It's not Dara who gets to decide who knows about Mellie's transition. It's Mellie.

I had issues with the budding romance between Dara & Sam. I liked them so much better as just friends. Their romance seemed forced to me, and I didn't see a whole lot of chemistry between them. I do think the book would have been stronger without the romance subplot. I did like how Sam called her out on her attitude and then later corrected people who misgendered her mother. Sam seemed to understand the trans issues a lot better than Dara did, and he seemed more willing to learn about than than Dara was.

I loved the emails about Mellie's past that she sent to Dara while Dara & Sam were on the quest to find Dara's biological maternal grandparents. I felt like that gave an extra something to the book rather than just having Mellie explain everything at the kitchen table or something as equally cliche. 

After awhile, the reasons Mellie distanced herself & Dara from both sides of the family became abundantly clear and even Dara couldn't argue with them. There were parts that I was horrified over, sickened over and downright angry about. But, to Mellie's credit, she let Dara figure it out on her own and that allowed her to form her own opinions.

Final thoughts: A book about a trans parent is so rare in the world, and I really wish there were more of them, but this is a start. Pick up this book if you are looking for a book about a trans parent or if you just want a really good book that tackles important issues head on.